Let it Go...

Shortly after Robert died last April, I packed on an extra 20lbs on my already overweight body. I believe, that it is symbolically 20lbs of guilt, sadness, regret and fear that I’m carrying around.

Guilt for breaking his ribs when I was frantically doing CPR and watching him slip away. Guilt for not being able to save his beautiful life.

Sadness for the loss of a kindred friend and soul. Sadness for my kids who witnessed everything and watched their mother during a tragedy.

Regret for not spending MORE time together, for not pushing harder for gigs and growth. That’s what he wanted.

Fear...because I have a voice in my head that keeps me chained to this negative frequency and I know it won’t be silenced without a battle.

Physically the weight is depressing me, chipping at my esteem and confidence.

I’m ready to face all these demons and give myself permission to let it go.

Let go of the guilt.

Let go of the sadness.

Let go of the regret.

Let go of the fear.

And...let go of the weight.

Symbolically & Physically.

Wish me well & RIP Robert

#grief #guilt #regret #lessons #life #weight #fear #lettinggo #selfcare #forgiveness

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